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FEATURED ARTICLES           Thursday, September 09, 2010                                Email to a Friend

1. The “I’ll treat her like shit, so she’ll want to find the best of me” test

Where You’ve Seen It: In any high school classroom – the guy picks on the girl or the girl plays hard to get, so the other party keeps on coming back for an explanation for such hostility.

What It’s About: Yes, it doesn’t make sense for someone who likes you to intentionally try to hurt you through mean pranks, public humiliation, insults, and so on and so forth. However, they could possibly want to test how much you care about their opinion (or them, cough cough), and how far you’d be willing to go to change them or bring out their good qualities, so you can see their true colours, and realize what a great catch they are. This particular “examination” could also go to show how overly sensitive or argumentative a girlfriend you can be, especially under possible circumstances where a conflict or disagreement arises in the relationship. So, in other words, they’re testing your compatibility with them, and how good of a GF or BF you would make.

How To Stump ‘Em or Ace The Test: Kill them with kindness and rationality in all your future “beef” sessions, or continue fighting until you get them all alone in a room to finally work things out, once and for all…

2. The “I’ll be her friend to show her I care about her enough to be her BF” test

Where You’ve Seen It: in any prepubescent-targeted Disney Channel series: Lizzie McGuire, Even Stevens, the list goes on…the boy/girl best friend duo have usually been friends for years and may have not initially become friends to pursue each other, but as they grew up, one found a liking in the other, and may have subconsciously intended to achieve their desires in behaviours that would impact their friend.

What It’s About: The way they stand up for you whenever someone dares to speak down to you, etc. is a test to see if their loyalty paid off, if you’re feeling the same way for them in return, and if your friendship has any potential to turn into something more. Also, why not become a friend first? Well, you’re earning the person’s trust, and getting to know them more closely to see what similarities you have, and how you can further accommodate to their personality I.e. not change for them, as they should accept you for who you are, but respond to their flaws in a certain way, such as taking the time to listen to a chatter.

How To Stump ’Em or Ace The Test: If you like them, show them how you really feel by being a good friend as you usually would - like complimenting them when they’re not feeling so confident - and then make your move by asking him out on a date. But, if you see them as a fraud who only wants to hook up with you, put them in a situation where only a true friend would risk their reputation or goals for you I.e. helping you win a contest that could’ve instead allowed them to be accepted into law school.

3. The “I’ll give her the silent treatment until she can’t take it anymore, and resorts to my side” test

Where You’ve Seen It: In your or your friends’ lives: somehow you’re made the messenger in recent online conversations, because your friend and your other friend can’t say what they want to, face-to-face. Then it turns out you did all that work for nothing, because when you finally put them in a conversation together - with you included, to supervise and maintain whatever civilization is left - they usually leave. Or the scenario is that your latest interest is holding a grudge against you, and won’t talk, unless it’s about something less awkward than his feelings to compensate for a greeting.

What It’s About: They may want to see how far you’ll go just to talk to them, which will ultimately show them how much of a priority they are to you, and may or not prove what your true intentions are. However, if this is used as a tool for revenge or leeway to get you to do a favour for them or finally agree with them, this could show how vulnerable you are to their feelings, which could be seen as pathetic, not considerate in spending your time just trying to get them to open up. Also, they can manipulate you into luring them through sex as a means of communication, so beware.

How To Stump ‘Em Or Ace the Test: You can make him think you’ll get somewhere with him, but then withdraw (which may cause a guy to become violent, because you got their hopes up, so caution; don’t attempt this alone in a private place), and then prove to them you can induce they’re only using you for sex. Or if this test is implemented to motivate you to reveal information or do a favour you rejected beforehand (so they’re pretty much giving you a guilt trip), make them think you’ll do it, and then never stop bugging them about what merely could be a clue to your huge secret (that’ll teach them!) Though, if you want him to stop being so quiet out of the goodness of your heart - and you know you did something to upset him, and are truly sorry - persuade his friends to admit what’s really up by persistently asking or verbally tricking them to defend their friend’s genuine thoughts. Then, prove to him you’re a good friend by doing good deeds for him I.e. helping him with his homework.

4. The “I’ll use his friends, enemies, or other people to make him jealous” test

Where You’ve Seen It: On any show or celebrity encounter I.e. Nick and Jessica being with their new flings, even though we can tell that deep inside they’re still in love. You see how it makes them feel when you flirt with other guys, especially if those people are close enough to affect them I.e.best friend or worst nightmare.

What It’s About: Regardless of the fact that you might just be getting mad - if you’re not the one making him jealous and he still has the audacity to turn your best friend against you by brainwashing her or putting her in the position to look like she’s flirting back - it’s to see if it’ll make you jealous due to the reality that you may want to have him, which can also be depicted through how jealous you will become, and what they will do to just get your attention back on them.

How To Stump ‘Em Or Ace The Test: Make them jealous instead to see how real their feelings are, or end this tacky game of envy, and give them exactly what you both want: each other. It can’t get any simpler than that.

5. The “I’ll risk my life to see if he’ll rescue me” test

Where You’ve Seen It: Probably on any soap opera: where a character will put themselves in a dangerous situation, in a desperate attempt to show how much they are willing to go through for the sake of their object of affection, while wanting them to save them in return I.e. will they go as far as fight for a loved one, and put themselves at risk for gunshots at the point of their relationship where the other may be too upset with them to interact with them, and may be denying how they feel for them until they realize what they’ll do for them, once the other party does something?

What It’s About: In short, what you will do to assist them in a fatal situation specifically demonstrates that not only you care about them, but something deeper: that you love them, just like they could love you enough to suffer through that compromising position they’re in for you. It’s an act of the will, selfless, and never puts the other at risk. Of course, they could just being doing this for attention, so assess your relationship before you directly imply you feel more for them than you think you do; they could be faking a problem or misinterpreting your connection for more than just platonic!

How To Stump ‘Em or Ace The Test: Put yourself in a worse situation, and see how far they’ll go to actually save you, or save them with the incentive of saving them for the same reason of showing how much you care (and both parties should not do it out of romanticism to feel like a hero, but because they sincerely care about each other so much that they feel they can’t live without each other, and never want to watch the other in agony).

6. The “I’ll make him go on a date with her to see if he has feelings for her” test

Where You’ve Seen It: many adolescent shows; it’s pretty self-explanatory.

What It’s About: Witnessing the date will give you an idea of how well your BF and his charming female friend etc. communicate with each other, and note if there’s any chemistry between them. It can also be to test his faithfulness, which will hopefully give you the confidence that he only has eyes for you, and no one else. However, there’s only so much you can interpret from what eyes can see: they can be holding back their feelings for each other, or you could just be exaggerating their body language to look more than just comfy. Only they know what they feel the best…

How To Stump ’Em or Ace The Test: If you’re the one going out on the date, you can refrain from showing your feelings, and keep a potential affair under wraps to protect the emotions of the one who wanted you to go out on the date in the first place (rest assured, ideally, your GF or BF), at least until you know for sure that what you feel for the person you went out with is not just merely a sexual need or TLC gone unfulfilled or infatuation. The only other option is to just the see what happens on the date without repressing your desires, and be open about that whatever happened is out of your control.

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